This post bring an idea of the personalities of the Men's team traveling to San Diego for regionals. We want everyone out there to know the team a little better. No longer do we want people asking if Track or Cross Country is a Varsity Sport, 'No I am not part of the UBC Run Club.' We wear normal running shoes (other than a certain Japanese fellow) and short shorts and can run laps around anybody on campus.
Tim Noriaki Harajuku Smith: Despite what his name may suggest, this 400m runner turned marathoner turned cross country runners brings a pleasant Asian presence to the team. A very good season thus far, attributed to the fact that he's been seen wearing shoes on occasion, TS has provided the support that the team required after losing a number of key contributors from last years squad. Although he has the attention of a fly, he manages, miraculously, to keep himself occupied for 8,000m. I, for one, welcome his return because it also legitimizes the use of TIMTIMYE. Runners beware: Wearing minimalistic shoes in close proximity to T.S garners unwelcome attention from his nether regions
Matt Galea: The most chivalrous of the bunch. Singing ♫ I throw my hands up in the air sometimes, singing Ayo Galileo ♫ Although only in his second year, he has a slew of experience in the field of cross country running. After making both regionals and nationals in his freshman year, the team will need him to continue to run well in order to give the likes of Southern Oregon and San Marcos a scare. Watch for big things from the silent knight in San Diego and onwards. The only runner on the team that appears not to be a Nike Rep, he rocks brands that people didn't even know existed anymore, notably PUMA. Favourite food: mashed potatoes.
Luc B: The Golden Boi. Although for much of the season it looked like this guy had the aerobic capacity of a 3 year old child, the LB that we all know and love came out to play at the Thunderbirds most recent meet in Santa Clara where he not only led the team to an impressive time, he did so by lugging around 4lbs of Spaghetti from the night before. Eyeing a top 10 performance at Nationals, the team will need a performance as big as his appetite come Nov 17. The only barrier between him and glory is Roberto's Tacos, a road side restaurant that remains in business solely based on contributions from the UBC XC team.
Bilal Shamsi: Otherwise known as Biloo & Babar, he is seen more often than not wearing soccer apparel rather than running apparel. Prior to going to UBC, I was 100% sure he ran in his underwear because I couldn't imagine companies making spandex that minute. His extreme fear for canine beasts will make Regionals particular interesting since the course is held at one of California's most popular and vicious dog parks. How he will respond to this remains up in the air. What is certain however, is B will have a stellar race if he decides to avoid snacking on the following: Kosher MacDonalds, Sour Patch Kids, Cherry Blasters and the like.
David Spade: FOR THE LOVE OF GOD DON'T MENTION HEEL-STRIKING. Originally thought to max out at 800m (possibly 799m with a questionable lean), apparently Spade has metamorphed into a cross country runner. There remains strong controversy surrounding the exact spelling of said runners name however. He enjoys seeing party rockers in the house tonight, and especially likes when everybody has a good time. His stellar form and superb forefoot strike makes him a beast in XC. Ladies take note, Spade goes long and hard and don't you ever forget it.
Jack Williams: He has been known to spend the majority of his days in his cave; with conclusions being drawn that he spends more time playing games on his computer than playing with his lil' willy. Calculations have been made by his roommates that it's a 4.5 hour to 4 hour split between these two activities. When the schedule calls for practice, this little gremlin somehow finds the capability to leave his chamber. Though his small stature of 4'11 makes him the smallest kid on the team, don't dwell on that factor, Wacko Wills can hold his own with the best of the rest. Though he has an extremely outgoing personality, your interaction with this little boy is most likely going to end before you say a word; for the reason that he speaks his own language. This language is only understood a few members of the team, with the main reason being that it consists of 4 words.
Ser Willard Cliff: A descendant from a long line of runners, Ser Willard has emerged this season as a threat on the grass and dirt. This future Sauder grad, does not run just purely on fitness, but uses his brains to increase his performance. In the early part of the season he could be scene on the race course with his calculator, breaking down which parts of the race are most important. In Santa Clara he apparently perfected this formula, deducting that running the last mile fastest often produces the greatest results; this propelled him to a huge personal best.
Timothy Huebsch: Known to few as Mr. Noisewaters or Cholo Dolo, the lone Aryan of our team is known most commonly as The Captain. After a solid summer of high mileage and abstaining from masturbation, T. has become a member of the team heavily relied upon upfront. After a big race from him at the Charles Bowles Invitational, he really showed that having a sperm count as high as cloud 9 proves instrumental in running success. With the greasy blonde hair and the lack of kick-back on his stride, many often ponder how he's capable of running so fast. Two things to look our for come the big meets in November are big races from TH and his pain train face, which is sure to scare people into hiding, and cause women to cry for years on end.
Jake Bruchet: Rounding out the men's regional team, this soft, docile child adds much needed compassion to the team. He brings a caring aspect that every team needs. Whenever one of the men have troubles, J's mother-like attitude always helps to console. J. can often be found annoying the shit out of his 5 roommates, by singing along with very women-ish country songs. His favorites artist is the lovely Taylor Swift. Though he has a soft side, Jacob has be known to show up at the big meets, and perform when it matters, he seems to be rounding in to the best form of his life after the last few practices. Hopefully he's able to get those Taylor Swift songs out of his head and get some DMX in there and give "What These Bitches Want"
All in good fun!
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