Wednesday, 24 October 2012

A (vague) biography of a reg. team that is most certainly not us

This post bring an idea of the personalities of the Men's team traveling to San Diego for regionals. We want everyone out there to know the team a little better. No longer do we want people asking if Track or Cross Country is a Varsity Sport, 'No I am not part of the UBC Run Club.' We wear normal running shoes (other than a certain Japanese fellow) and short shorts and can run laps around anybody on campus.

Tim Noriaki Harajuku Smith: Despite what his name may suggest, this 400m runner turned marathoner turned cross country runners brings a pleasant Asian presence to the team. A very good season thus far, attributed to the fact that he's been seen wearing shoes on occasion, TS has provided the support that the team required after losing a number of key contributors from last years squad. Although he has the attention of a fly, he manages, miraculously, to keep himself occupied for 8,000m. I, for one, welcome his return because it also legitimizes the use of TIMTIMYE. Runners beware: Wearing minimalistic shoes in close proximity to T.S garners unwelcome attention from his nether regions

Matt Galea: The most chivalrous of the bunch. Singing  I throw my hands up in the air sometimes, singing Ayo Galileo  Although only in his second year, he has a slew of experience in the field of cross country running. After making both regionals and nationals in his freshman year, the team will need him to continue to run well in order to give the likes of Southern Oregon and San Marcos a scare. Watch for big things from the silent knight in San Diego and onwards. The only runner on the team that appears not to be a Nike Rep, he rocks brands that people didn't even know existed anymore, notably PUMA. Favourite food: mashed potatoes.

Luc B: The Golden Boi. Although for much of the season it looked like this guy had the aerobic capacity of a 3 year old child, the LB that we all know and love came out to play at the Thunderbirds most recent meet in Santa Clara where he not only led the team to an impressive time, he did so by lugging around 4lbs of Spaghetti from the night before. Eyeing a top 10 performance at Nationals, the team will need a performance as big as his appetite come Nov 17. The only barrier between him and glory is Roberto's Tacos, a road side restaurant that remains in business solely based on contributions from the UBC XC team.

Bilal Shamsi: Otherwise known as Biloo & Babar, he is seen more often than not wearing soccer apparel rather than running apparel. Prior to going to UBC, I was 100% sure he ran in his underwear because I couldn't imagine companies making spandex that minute. His extreme fear for canine beasts will make Regionals particular interesting since the course is held at one of California's most popular and vicious dog parks. How he will respond to this remains up in the air. What is certain however, is B will have a stellar race if he decides to avoid snacking on the following: Kosher MacDonalds, Sour Patch Kids, Cherry Blasters and the like.

David Spade: FOR THE LOVE OF GOD DON'T MENTION HEEL-STRIKING. Originally thought to max out at 800m (possibly 799m with a questionable lean), apparently Spade has metamorphed into a cross country runner. There remains strong controversy surrounding the exact spelling of said runners name however. He enjoys seeing party rockers in the house tonight, and especially likes when everybody has a good time. His stellar form and superb forefoot strike makes him a beast in XC. Ladies take note, Spade goes long and hard and don't you ever forget it.

Jack Williams: He has been known to spend the majority of his days in his cave; with conclusions being drawn that he spends more time playing games on his computer than playing with his lil' willy. Calculations have been made by his roommates that it's a 4.5 hour to 4 hour split between these two activities. When the schedule calls for practice, this little gremlin somehow finds the capability to leave his chamber. Though his small stature of 4'11 makes him the smallest kid on the team, don't dwell on that factor, Wacko Wills can hold his own with the best of the rest. Though he has an extremely outgoing personality, your interaction with this little boy is most likely going to end before you say a word; for the reason that he speaks his own language. This language is only understood a few members of the team, with the main reason being that it consists of 4 words.

Ser Willard Cliff: A descendant from a long line of runners, Ser Willard has emerged this season as a threat on the grass and dirt. This future Sauder grad, does not run just purely on fitness, but uses his brains to increase his performance. In the early part of the season he could be scene on the race course with his calculator, breaking down which parts of the race are most important. In Santa Clara he apparently perfected this formula, deducting that running the last mile fastest often produces the greatest results; this propelled him to a huge personal best.

Timothy Huebsch: Known to few as Mr. Noisewaters or Cholo Dolo, the lone Aryan of our team is known most commonly as The Captain. After a solid summer of high mileage and abstaining from masturbation, T. has become a member of the team heavily relied upon upfront. After a big race from him at the Charles Bowles Invitational,  he really showed that having a sperm count as high as cloud 9 proves instrumental in running success. With the greasy blonde hair and the lack of kick-back on his stride, many often ponder how he's capable of running so fast. Two things to look our for come the big meets in November are big races from TH and his pain train face, which is sure to scare people into hiding, and cause women to cry for years on end. 

Jake Bruchet: Rounding out the men's regional team, this soft, docile child adds much needed compassion to the team. He brings a caring aspect that every team needs. Whenever one of the men have troubles, J's mother-like attitude always helps to console.  J. can often be found annoying the shit out of his 5 roommates, by singing along with very women-ish country songs. His favorites artist is the lovely Taylor Swift. Though he has a soft side, Jacob has be known to show up at the big meets, and perform when it matters, he seems to be rounding in to the best form of his life after the last few practices. Hopefully he's able to get those Taylor Swift songs out of his head and get some DMX in there and give "What These Bitches Want"

All in good fun!

First Post Ever - Trials and Tribulations of our Four Years


            I find it quite ironic that today is the first blog posting ever… This blog was actually created at least a year ago, but as you see nothing ever really got going. The blog has simply been stuck in the files of interweb for 365+ days. A few days ago I was musing around some running blogs and I though it was time to get one going for the UBC cross country and track (distance) team. As I came to the blog site it seemed as though the one I created last year was still around, so I though what the hakmenyadmadinijhad, this one should be good enough to use.

            To this date the team has been together, training for nearly eight weeks. It began up at Whistler with training camp (and a certain half Japanese man puking enough for a small village) and now up to this point has brought us through our four required meets prior to regionals. Most would say the four meets ran by the team this season were successful. We won the open sections at both Sundodger (Seattle, WA) and The Charles Bowles Invitational (Willamette, OR). Several of our runners ran exceptional at these meets, especially Tim Huebsch ripping up the field in Oregon. At our third meet of the year, a 10km hosted by Western Washington, our team was beat heavily by UVIC. Though it looked bad on the score sheet, several members of the team ran a conservative race, so as to save themselves for the final meet at Santa Clara. I think the team being rested an going head to head with Victoria, we would give them a run for their money. The last meet of the ‘regular season’ saw the team run on a fast course, The Bronco Invitational hosted by Santa Clara University. The team averaged 24.55 on the course, as well as setting a school record for overall time, 2.04.38. This all seems very good, and is, however some members of the team didn’t have their best races, as well some of the guys had missed a bit of training due to minor issues. Needless to say I think the team is even better than we showed at Santa Clara. 

            The conclusion of the meet in Santa Clara brought a new confidence to the team, as we beat the then number two-ranked Cal State San Marcos team. For the first time I think we all, even coach Marek, realized that we have a legitimate shot at winning NAIA’s (knock on wood). We moved up to the second rank in the National Polls, as well as garnishing several first place votes. Though we seem to be facing a bit of adversity with a few members of the top five having minor set backs, it seems that everyone is putting in the necessary work. Most of the team members are in the best shape of their career, come November 17 (NAIA) and the following week at Canadian XC Nationals, the men of the UBC cross country team will be making a splash in the water.


Coming Soon… Regionals team bios

Au revoir and  crystalnacht to everyone